If you have known me awhile you know the many challenges we have faced with Lindsey. For almost all of her almost 10 years, I have often told God that He must have something enormous for her to do for His Kingdom because of the constant struggle she has had with things of faith. She is so insightful at times with things of the Spirit, but she just always has struggled with fear and anxiety, insecurity and lies that I knew were coming from anywhere but God! I have prayed for years that God would take all of the passion, drama and fire that she has in her and channel it into an EXPLOSIVE love for Him and use her for His glory.
In VBS a couple of years ago, she filled out a card and said she had become a Christian. My Momma's heart knew that it would be wise to walk through that carefully. And in time, Lindsey confessed to me that she really didn't ask Jesus in her heart but that she was just "doing what everyone else was doing -- filling out a card." We never have pushed her, but we have tried to take teachable moments to be Jesus to her and teach her things of faith in our imperfect lives.
Well, on the way to church tonight the song Here I Am to Worship came on the radio and she sat in the back seat and sang it to me. I cried as I watched her mouth the words, "I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross." It was precious. But I had NO IDEA what the evening would hold in store.
I went to our Pastor's theology class (which was wonderful, by the way) and shared that I was praying for Lindsey to accept Jesus as her Savior at an early age because I know the benefits and the joy of that. I told him that we weren't rushing her, but that it was a prayer request that I had.
So, Lindsey asked me on the way home from church tonight if she was a Christian - out of the blue? Yeah right! :) I told her that I would love to talk to her about that when we went to bed. She started to cry in the car, so I knew the Holy Spirit was working on her heart preparing her for our talk.
So tonight, we read through a little children's booklet that was WONDERFUL and she asked tons of questions. She had lots of questions about sin and not being perfect and that even after we accept Jesus, we still sin from time to time -- but that Jesus always forgives. We had such a long talk. I was amazed at all that she asked me and her understanding. I was also amazed at how the enemy tried to fight what was happening in her room. Right in the middle of the book, out of no where, her stomach started hurting. She was so distracted. And then she said something so amazing, "Momma, I think my stomach has quit hurting...probably because we are talking about God."
When we got to the end I told her that when she felt in her heart that she was ready to ask Jesus to be her Savior that she could pray this prayer on her own or I would be happy to be with her when she did it, but that it had to be her decision and no one else's. She started to tear up and said, "I really think I should do it tonight, Momma. I feel it in my heart." So she prayed and she accepted Christ -- on her own. I prayed over her after it was all over, but the decision was most assuredly her own!
When we got done, she said...."Whew...I feel so much better." I turned out the light for her to go to sleep and she said, "Can I sing, Momma?" And she sang Here I am to Worship while I wept.
"Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that You're my God.
You're altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me."
I told her I was sorry but that I was crying happy tears and she said, "That's okay Momma...this deserves happy tears!"
PRECIOUS!!!!
I am so overjoyed!!!
I had NO IDEA God would move so mightily tonight and answer my prayer in such a powerful way.
His grace STILL amazes me!
Blessings,
Dori
